I’m sure you’ve heard someone say “Isn’t God good?” when referring to a favorable outcome in a situation. When someone’s dream comes true…isn’t God good? When someone lands that big promotion…isn’t God good? When someone gets a clean bill of health…isn’t God good? I wholeheartedly agree that God is good in all of these situations!
But what about when the cancer diagnosis comes back…is God still good? What about when someone less qualified and younger receives the promotion you’ve been working toward for years…is God still good? What about when the dream of expanding your family doesn’t come…is God still good? Again, I wholeheartedly agree that he is. But what do I do with my disappointment and sadness? As I often write on things regarding acceptable worship, this is an important issue to discuss because we often encounter disappointments in this life.
Matthew 10:29 says that God knows the life of every sparrow. How much more valuable to God are you than sparrows (v. 31)? He has planted eternity within your heart (Ecc. 3:11) and called you to himself (John 6:44). He is sovereignly ruling this entire world (Gen 1, Job 38, Eph 1). If I believe these truths, then I must believe that even in the sorrows of life, he is still good.
There’s a line in Andrew Peterson’s Always Good that reverberates in my mind when I encounter sorrowful moments:
You’re always good, always good
This heartache is moving me closer than joy ever could
And You’re always good.
If life is always easy, then I begin to think that I have everything under control. I believe that my efforts get me wherever I go and God becomes an afterthought at best, or no thought at worst. After all, doesn’t God help those who help themselves? And doesn’t God want me to be happy?
I hope you can hear the sarcasm in those last two sentences, because those are not theologically correct statements. You will not find them in the Bible.
Let’s examine what we know about God from his word:
Psalm 119:68
You (God) are good and you do good.
Psalm 34:8
Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good
Exodus 34:6
The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness
Mark 10:18
No one is good but One, that is, God.
Psalm 25:8
Good and upright is the Lord
This is just a sampling of verses that reveal God’s goodness. There are many more to explore. But God is good and he does good. So what do I do with lifelong dreams that never come true?
I surrender them to his goodness.
As a girl, when I thought about my future family, I always saw myself married with three kids. I don’t know why I wanted three children …it’s just what I envisioned.
The Lord blessed us with one son biologically.
Along the way, we pursued two different adoption paths, only to end up with two failed adoptions.
We are a wonderfully complete family of three.
Is God still good? Wholeheartedly yes. Do I understand his ways? No. And I do not need to understand to follow him in faith.
Hear me gently say this: God does not owe us an explanation of why situations happen the way they do. His ways are higher than our ways, and his thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Is. 55:8-9). He is bigger than my dreams. I cannot demand that God fulfill my dreams because he doesn’t submit to me, I submit to him. I hold all these earthly things with open hands and say, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21).”
The prosperity gospel today tells you to chase your dreams and declare that God will make it happen. This is not the true Christ-centered Gospel.
A Christian’s response should be, “God, forgive me for wanting “different” than you have given me (a different situation, a different diagnosis, a different person, a different job). You hold my dreams that come true on this earth, and the ones that don’t. Blessed be your name.”
So when the dreams of my childhood do not come true, as a mature believer, I respond with, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” God may have planted that dream in your heart or He may not have planted it there. No matter where it came from, the response to the disappointment is the same. And dare I say, God does not owe us an explanation of why some desires have been planted in our hearts. I have lived enough years to know that just because God plants a desire, it does not mean he must fulfill it in the manner that I think he should.
The surrendering of lifelong dreams is a moment to grow in holiness. I can choose to say, “You owe me, God,” or I can say, “Not my will but the Lord’s be done (Luke 22:42).” Jerry Bridges writes, “In all our thoughts, all of our actions, in every part of our character, the ruling principle that motivates and guides us should be the desire to follow Christ in doing the will of the Father. This is the high road we must follow in the pursuit of holiness.”1 As I loosen my grip on my desires, I allow the Spirit to shape those desires toward Christ. No longer do I demand my way. Instead, I allow the Spirit to lead me in desiring holiness over my dreams.
It is possible to let go of whatever dream you have pursued for years, because God is good and he does good. It is possible, with God’s help, to open your hands and say, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” David writes in Psalm 56:8, “You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?” Our gracious, loving, tender Lord leads us, comes alongside us, and hems us in (Psalm 23). He knows our struggles and gives us new mercies every day (Lam. 3:22-23).
So when the answers don’t come in the form that you want, trust his goodness. When disappointments seem to rise high, trust his goodness. Allow those hurts to become moments of growing in holiness. Respond with the words of this beautiful hymn:
O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s light for a look at the Savior,
and life more abundant and free!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in his wonderful face,
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of his glory and grace.
This is acceptable worship.
- Jerry Bridges, The Pursuit of Holiness (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2006), 32.
